Little Steps
by Long Lost Intentions
Summary: After everything he's been through, Jack just wants to get the rest of his memories back, and he intends to. Things don't go quite as he planned, though. Started as the beginning to an entirely different fic and ended up as it's own thing! Oops. I'm quite proud of it though! Don't let a terrible summary deter you! Entire my own writing this time!
1. Chapter 1

Sorry, while it is marked Jack/Tooth it is strictly friendship and theres really nothing in here pertaining to the ship itself! I hope you enjoy it anyways though! This is entirely my own writing/invention. Except of course I do not own this lovely series/movie.

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The young Winter spirit crouches by the tombstone in front of him, looking intently over every curve. He traces his fingers gently over the engraved letters, not paying any mind to the cold radiating from the stone. He is the one who put it there after all. He pulls away quickly when he accidentally freezes it over even more. Maybe he should just look. His mouth mimes the words he reads on the front of the grave.

**Jacob  
Giles  
Frost**

**** The date is covered by lichen and he's worried if he touches anything again it might break, shatter into a thousand pieces and be lost to him after all this time. He doesn't recognize the name, not from his own memory at least. An image does flash briefly through his mind; a strong, broad shouldered man with a mess of dark curls over his face. He has the distinct feeling, though, that it was mostly influenced by all his time around North. He couldn't really remember his father, could he? He sighs lightly and straightens to walk to the next grave just a few steps to his left. The more he moves, the quicker his heart beats. He reads the next grave in his head.

**Constance  
Harmony  
Frost**

**** Another name he can't quite put a face to. He can remember a voice, however. Light, motherly, concerned. It reminds him a lot of Tooth. Which is exactly how he got here in the first place. Now he could practically feel his heart pounding in his head. Mixing with the soft crunching of gravel and snow under him. He knows the next grave can only be one of two. He feels like he shouldn't be this nervous, because these people are as good as strangers to him right now. Except they aren't, and it becomes obvious when he reaches the next grave and his chest tightens painfully as he reads the words, occasionally muttering bits and syllables of it.

**Anna  
Emmaline  
Frost**

**** Its both a relief and a pain to finally be able to recall this name, however vaguely. He can see her face, as if it were yesterday. He wants better memories of her, something more fond. Some where her sweet face isn't tinged with fear and desperation. He wants to be able to remember a time he hadn't left her on her own. How did she feel, watching him sink under the surface of the water, unable to save himself as he'd saved her? Had she been upset at him for leaving her all alone? Were they close? Was he all she had? He'd attempted to answer these questions on his own, several times. Not once succeeding. He shakes his head and tears his eyes off the grave, forcing himself to move on. Now he's just nervous, because he knows what he's going to face. His hand grips his staff tighter as his steps seem to echo, despite the wide open space. He reads this one aloud this time, as if the words themselves will ground him to the earth when his entire being feels like it will float off and never come back.

**Jackson  
Overland**  
**Frost**

**** Its nearly too surreal to be true, even though he, of all people, knows that he's dead. He saw it happen, sometimes at night when he's particularly restless, he can still see it happen. Until he's bathed in a soft gold glow and his thoughts slowly wash into more pleasant dreams. He can feel it happen too, when he's near the water and he feels a little lightheaded and he can almost swear he's fighting for his life. Then he remembers to breath, not that it will kill him if he doesn't, but it's uncomfortable not to. Still, seeing his own name, undoubtedly and undeniably his, written on a gravestone when he himself is standing right there... For one short stupid moment he wonders if he digs down, would he find any of the bodies? Then he shakes it off. He watched them put up every single gravestone in this cemetery, which had started as more of a memorial burial ground. Some families with rich roots and respectable lineage in the town had instigated the project. Naturally they never knew where the bodies had actually been buried (and they weren't about to go digging around for them), but they had decided to erect some monumental gravestones for some of the more prominent families of the town. The founders, the priest's family, the law makers. He had no idea his own family would be among those, though. After a short while, people also contributed their own dead to the cemetery, and the special graves were swallowed by the masses.

He steps back a bit before planting himself down at the foot of all the graves. He lays his staff carefully on his lap, just looking at them, head resting thoughtfully on his palm. It almost feels wrong, to sit here with them, to be thinking so hard about them. Like they might not remember him, just because he can't quite remember them. Not for lack of trying of course, and that he remembers clearly.

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**Sorry this chapter is so short. Just because the second one is SO long. Also I put a ridiculous amount of effort into trying to find names for them that fit the era. While simultaneously avoiding the Pippa/Emma Frost fanon and finding a name for the dad that can in fact be shortened to Jack. (So the name Jackson would be quite literal as it often was way back when). Anyways please continue!**


	2. Chapter 2

_ After everything was done, he'd been forced to give back the long, sleek tube containing his memories. 'It has to go back with the others, where it belongs' he'd been told. He wasn't really in any position to argue, he was lucky to get the glimpses of the memories he had. He tried to be patient, to wait for a moment when he really needed them, it was nearly impossible though. It was like a sweet, something addicting that he craved. Once he'd seen a little bit, he needed to see the rest. After 300 years he finally had the opportunity to find out more about himself, to know who he was better then anybody else. He wasn't going to let it escape from him. _

_ Which is how he ended up landing carefully on the edge of one of the nest structures in the Tooth Palace. He made sure to keep as in-obstructive as he possibly could, with tiny fairies darting this way and that, making sharp turns to avoid colliding with him. To anyone else it might seem too busy to call on someone, he knew better; it was always this way. He hardly took two steps before one tiny fairy body in particular careened full force into his chest. It was clearly intentional, though he didn't think so at first, from the way she zipped around him in circles before perching neatly on his shoulder and scooting close to him. He watched her the whole time, eyes lighting with amusement as he cracked a smile. He cupped one hand and held it up for her to climb in. "Hey there, Baby Tooth..." he glances around at the air around them, still no Fairy Queen.  
"I can't play right now, Snowflake. Later, I promise. I gotta see-" he didn't get further then that before turning his eyes back to her and watching her perform an entertainingly accurate mime of Tooth, bringing a laugh he couldn't suppress. He nodded and hitched his staff up to his shoulder.  
"She busy? I need to ask her something..." he spoke lowly, not wanting to reveal too much just yet. Something about this, maybe the secretiveness of it, seemed to spark some fire in the little fairy, making her dart out of his hand and twirl in place before pointing at the enormous walls at the center of the palace. He sincerely hoped she hadn't misinterpreted his purpose for being there... The only answer he received was a tugging of her tiny hands on his fingers, urging him onward. He laughed an "Alright" before getting a running start and letting the wind gently push him up platform by platform, landing his destination without a sound._

_ Inside was just as busy as outside, maybe worse because of the close quarters. Granted most of the palace was airy, built for avian creatures. He could see the flustered fairy twisting in circles, trying to address every tiny helper that demanded her attention. He admired that she could keep up with them, miraculously. When she finally took notice of him, standing and shuffling patiently, she flitted over with a big smile about as rushed as her wings, though not insincere. She hugged him quickly, still glancing around at all the commotion. It was hard to keep her attention for very long, if only because her job demanded it._

_"What do you need, Jack?" she was as chipper as ever, despite how frazzled she clearly was. Today seemed to be particularly hectic, not that he made a point to hang around the palace excessively. He gave one more glance around before smiling back at her with amusement._

_"Sure you have the time? It's kind of important, not a quick fix," he cautioned. She looked worried immediately, etched into her ever matronly face. _

_"All the more reason to make sure it gets done now," she offered. Now that he'd brought it up, it was clear she wouldn't let it go until he told her everything. She turned to address the fairies crowding her with waves of her hands and direct orders. He hadn't heard much, he was focused on pacing lazily. Her ears were all his from then on, but he had no idea how to begin.  
"Tooth I-" he cut himself off, turning on his heel to lean on his staff and study the detail, trying to think of what to say. He watched out of the corner of his eye as she leaned forward, whether intentional or subconscious, imploring him to continue._

_"I know you said… The rest of my memories would come to me when I needed them. That's how it happens with everyone? But I've been waiting, doing everything I can to bring them up and they won't come. I guess I just… Wanted to see if you could help. Just for a few minutes! Just a quick look! I need to see her again, and the rest of my family!" Now that it was out, he was feeling more urgent. He had expected her to reassure him, or to chide him, or possibly even to relent and just help him. He didn't expect to see her face in such a mixture of emotion, as if it couldn't decide what to feel. She started out surprised, for a brief second. Then it morphed into something he couldn't identify, pity or guilt. Then worry, and that one stuck. She had been expecting this after all, it made him feel a little better to know she didn't think she could keep it from him forever. Her wings slowed and she bobbed lowly in the air, smoothing down a few stray feathers that had ruffled the more chaotic the day became. She spent a few minutes, fingers against her pursed lips, frowning down at the ground in concentration, trying to figure out what to say. He didn't realize how hard he was gripping his staff in anticipation.  
_"_Jack, I know… This is important to you. Anyone would feel this way…" she began slowly. She seemed to become sure of herself as she spoke, her face reaching determined closure. Her voice became stronger, more resolved and firm as she moved forward to take one of his hands in hers.  
"I'm sorry, Jack… I can't let you. Not yet." He recoiled, as expected, hurt and disappointment on his face. Preparing for it didn't make it any easier to see, but her mind was made up._

_"Yet..?! I've been waiting over 300 years to find out things I should already know! Everything I need is right here! Please…!" he tried to keep his voice steady, but it increased in volume. She didn't even flinch from it, she was fierce in her determination. She cared though, he could tell she cared, and that made him control his annoyance, and lower his voice. He took a few breaths and rests his forehead against his staff. She waited patiently for him to settle down before placing a hand to her face and looks back at him._

_"I know it sounds unreasonable, but please believe me, I would let you if I thought it was safe…" she didn't give him any chance to argue before holding up a hand and gathering her words. She took a breath, pressing her hands together and watching him._

_"Memories are powerful, Jack. Very powerful. Good, bad, pleasant, scary. Important memories can cast an incredible spell on people." It made sense to him, he knew that much already. She continued, making him close his mouth he'd opened to protest._

_"Sometimes, it's tempting to want to live in those memories. To dwell on them, and stay in the past where they were happier, or perhaps to relive something they miss…" her eyes turned to meet his. His stomach drops and he feels like he's being pinned to the spot. Like he might collapse if she looked away. Finally she did, and he managed to keep upright of his own will. _

_"But it's dangerous to live entirely in memories and dreams. That's why they have their own Guardians. To keep children in the present, and not let them overwhelm themselves with the past, good or bad. Until they're strong enough to deal with those feelings maturely, they just need a little help. We only give them the ones they need when they need them, so they can deal with them one at a time." She turned to look at him pleadingly, wanting him to understand why she did what she did. He understood, to some degree. Still, he didn't want to be deterred so easily.  
"I'm not like that! I'm not a child, you have to at least give me a chance! If I don't do it now I—" this time he was cut off by her stern gaze. Her voice rang out sharp against the light humming of thousands of little wings.  
"_Listen _to yourself!" Briefly there was no other noise, everything stilled for a second before resuming. She smoothed her feathers again before speaking lower, more sympathetically._

_"If you aren't like that then why are you here? You can't change the past, Jack. Reliving these memories won't take you back in time… In the end… They're only memories." She placed her hand back on his, pleased that he doesn't recoil this time. He looked so lost though… So broken. Like something had knocked the breath out of him. The reality of his desire and her words hitting him full force, he hadn't realized how dependent he was on this. _

_"How.. Am I supposed to prove I can do it if I'm not allowed to know anything?" His voice was lower, almost defeated. She held up a finger, a very soft smile finally lighting up her face._

_"I didn't say you couldn't know anything, I said you couldn't explore all your memories freely right now. I have something that might help you though…" her voice trailed off as she moved towards the side of the room, towards a small carved desk. On top, a scroll of paper and a rough stick of charcoal rested on its surface. She picked up the stick and began to write something. When she had barely started, an urgent fairy raced up to chatter something at her, sounding remotely panicked. It must have meant something, it caught her attention and her feathers bristled once more._

_"Oh! I'll be done in the second! Just wait for me!" She scribbled faster now, a few lines then tore off the paper and rushed over to shove it and the charcoal stick into his hands._

_"I need to go, but take this. Go to the cemetery in Burgess and look for them, they should be there. This will be your first step… I think you need to work through. Good luck, Jack," she rushed through her instructions, but they were clear enough. One squeeze of the hand and stroke of the cheek later and she was off, darting in the direction of the emergency. He stood, stuck to the spot for a moment, before glancing down at the piece of paper. Three names, that was it. It was the best thing he'd ever read. _

* * *

Three names is how he ended up here, sitting at the foot of four graves. His own name hadn't been a surprise really. He sighs and runs his hand through his hair, looking down at the ground next to him. He hadn't realized he was pulling up the flowers that were growing next to him. Bunny wouldn't be happy with him, but the least he can do is put them to good use. He crawls over and distributes them on top of their graves, not his of course. It was up to him to remember who they were. He would start with his sister, the one he can remember the most clearly. The one he still wishes he didn't have to leave alone so suddenly, because now he knows what its like to be alone. The one person he wants to be with more then anything. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out the paper and the charcoal stick, placing them on the cobblestone walkway behind him. He picks up the stick and writes, trying to form every letter as perfectly as he can, despite the rough texture under his utensil.

'I'm Sorry. I'll find you again soon. I miss you. Love, your Big Brother."

He places it on top of her grave, weighing it down with a rock. It didn't feel wrong this time, because he really does miss her, and despite the big gap in time he still loves her. Maybe Tooth was right, maybe he'd have to take this one little step at a time. He didn't mind so much though, it just meant he'd have to visit a lot more. He still doesn't touch the gravestone, but his expression is more relaxed, almost a smile. One way or another he'd figure it out, the answers always came to him eventually.


End file.
